Sturm und Drang
by Erikthephantom07
Summary: Culture shock abounds when the agents of the B.P.R.D. meet the new guy from their European liaison. Movie-verse.


**Sturm und Drang**

Culture shock abounds when the agents of the B.P.R.D. meet the new guy from their European liaison. Hellboy movie-verse.

This is basically a series of lighter/character-driven moments within and without the timeline of Hellboy II: The Golden Army, giving us a bit more insight into the characters' reactions to their new situation.

Note for the comics readers: I'm really going to try and integrate every bit of comic canon I can into this. For some reason Guillermo, I love him, is constantly undermining the canon. Which is cool! We can make new and exciting things!

_italics_ indicates a foreign language or song lyrics (or both!)…or just emphasis. Oh dear..

_**ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü**_

_Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, Über alles in der Welt_…

Hellboy stiffened as the distinctive music emanated throughout the halls of the B.P.R.D. He marched purposefully down to his father's old study, where he knew Abe Sapien, aquatic empath, would be reading. He burst through the golden doors, the sound reverberating throughout the study. Abe didn't bother to look up or even acknowledge the demon's presence. He simply waited for the inevitable outburst as the music echoed somewhat eerily.

_Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze, Brüderlich zusammenhält…_

Hellboy planted his feet squarely in front of his friend and, taking a deep breath, began his diatribe: "Abe, call me crazy, but that sounds an awful lot like German to me."

Abe slammed his hands against the glass walls of his tank, his mouth dropping open. "Good God, Holmes, you've done it!" Hellboy groaned and leaned against the tank and Abe dropped the act, chuckling.

"Seriously, Abe," Hellboy stated, "this whole German thing is creeping me out. What if this Johann's a spy? It's happened before, you know. My dad said that there was this guy –"

"There were a _lot_ of guys, Red, but Johann is not one of them," Abe said firmly with a soft chuckle. "You may be surprised to realize that not all Germans are Nazis."

_Von der Maas bis an die Memel, Von der Etsch bis an den Belt…_

"Does he really have to play it that loud, though, Blue?" Hellboy stepped towards the door, his gaze unconsciously lingering on the spot where, not so long before, his father's body had been found. "It's nauseating. It's a slap in the face, that's what it is, Abe. This is an American institution! We have American…stuff…here, y'know?" Hellboy turned around for affirmation only to find an empty tank. "Blue? Blue? Abe…?"

Abe cleared his throat as he reentered the room from above, holding his breathing apparatus in his arms.

"What are you doing out?"

"If you have such a problem with him, why not deal with it directly? Isn't that what you always do? Go straight to the source?" Abe shrugged.

Hellboy laughed cynically. "You want me to -? Ha! You think I'll just – That we can just go and – where are you going?"

"To talk to Dr. Kraus," Abe called from the doorway. "If you're too afraid I understand…" he trailed off, waiting with a smile for the pounding footsteps that followed.

"_Afraid_?!" Hellboy cried, the Right Hand of Doom coming dangerously close to knocking out the door of the study. "I'm not afraid of same overly-flatulent – what is this guy, even? A psychic? We have one!"

"I'm more of an _empath_ than a _psychic_, if we want to get into terminology –"

"Which we _don't_!"

"Though you brought it up…"

"What are you two fighting about?" Liz Sherman asked, poking her head out of her room.

"Do you even need to ask?" Abe sighed.

"The German."

"C'mon, Liz," Hellboy huffed. "What do you think of him?"

"You've asked me a million times, HB, and I've told you the same thing; I have no clue! I've barely talked to him, aside from saying 'hello' or 'gutentag' or whatever," she said, throwing up her hands. Abe offered Hellboy a triumphant shrug but the demon ignored him. "Lay off him, Red, 'til you actually get to know him."

"I guess…" Hellboy allowed begrudgingly.

_Deutsche Frauen, deutsche Treue, Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang!_

"That's IT!" Hellboy shouted, mustering the courage at last to face the German. He marched off in the direction of Johann's office with conviction and an odd, inexplicable feeling of dread. As he rounded the final corner, his heart pounding in his chest, he came face-to-face with Tom Manning.

"Manning!"

"Hellboy!"

The two stared at each other for a moment, before launching into excuses.

"I just wanted to see how Dr. Kraus was doing-"

"Was gonna compliment him on his music-"

"Official business, you see-"

"A bit of a _willkommen_..ing…, y'know?"

_Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit, Für das deutsche Vaterland!_

Manning's nostrils flaired. "This is America, for God's sake! This is part of the FBI and the last thing we need is some German nationalist!"

Hellboy blinked at his usual nemesis. "Manning, I couldn't agree more. Let's end this. Now."

"With Red being the poster-boy for immigration you'd think he'd go a little easy on Dr. Kraus," Abe muttered to Liz.

_Danach lasst uns alle streben, _

With no logic and more than a little fear, the odd couple of Hellboy and Manning marched on the office of the unsuspecting Dr. Kraus. Hellboy grabbed the doorknob.

_Brüderlich mit Herz und Hand!_

He attempted to disguise a deep breath and glanced at Manning.

_Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit_…

The administrative head of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense gave a curt nod, returned by Hellboy.

_Sind des Glückes Unterpfand;_

With one last squeeze on the knob as the music built to a crescendo, he forced open the door.

"_Blüh'im Glanze dieses Glückes, Blühe, deutsches Vaterland_!"

Johann Kraus, the ectoplasmic man and beloved of the powers-that-be in the B.P.R.D.'s European liaison, was waving his fingers in the air, singing in a proud but slightly off-key and airy voice, the final stanza of his national anthem, his fishbowl of a head bobbing with the music. Hellboy and Manning, their faces pressed in the doorway, with Abe and Liz straining to see over their respective bulks, watched as the medium lifted his containment suit's hands and dropped them with the final notes. He let out a contented sigh, and a stream of gas left the tubes on the helmet.

"Hello, Dr. Kraus!" Abe called cheerfully.

Johann turned, his head nearly turned a full 360 degrees before the body caught up. Hellboy and Manning knocked their heads off of each other in an effort to back out of the doorway. They glared at each other, as if the intrusion were solely the idea of the other.

"Ah! _Willkommen_ _meine Freunde_!" Johann said happily, the contraption on his face moving with the words in such a way that it was difficult not to stare. "It is so kind of you to visit me! As you can see, I am in the process of unpacking." He gestured towards the piles of books spanning from floor to ceiling. There was no bed, or even any furniture aside from one battered old chair which looked distinctly out of place in his otherwise stainless steel office and the B.P.R.D. standard desk, which was really just a one-person conference table. Below this, however, lay stacks upon stacks of paper and notebooks.

"I see that you are amazed at my clutter," he nodded genially. "I am in the middle of a project, you see. I am transcribing these old papers onto my computer and the work lends itself to mess."

"What kind of old papers?" asked Abe, still the only one not unabashedly taking in the oddness of the bedroom/office.

"Oh, every kind. Historical writings and such. Mediums throughout history is my current obsession, I must confess. A general outlook on the profession spanning several thousands of years. It is quite fascinating!"

"It sounds quite intriguing!" Abe nodded emphatically and Hellboy rolled his eyes and muttered, "Get a room, Blue."

Silence followed, as each of the four intruders tried to think of something to say. Johann stood before them, rocking slightly on his heels and drumming his fingers on the steel desk. Liz massaged her forehead with her hand and Manning cleared his throat. Abe was desperately trying not to blurt out everything he knew about mediums.

"Forgive my seeming rudeness," Johann began after a moment, "but may I ask why all four of you decided to visit me? It is very kind of you, but I did say that I would be meeting with all of you only ten minutes from my arrival time. Perhaps you were eager to speak with me?" he offered.

"Sure…that's it…" Hellboy muttered darkly, glancing at the desktop of Johann's computer which was, of course, the German flag. "You seem to be proud of your country," he said with more than a little venom.

"I am sick for home," Johann answered, though the genial mood of a moment before was dissipating. "Is this why you have come down to my room? Was my music disturbing your deep, intellectual endeavors, agent Hellboy?"

"Hey! I -" Hellboy growled before Manning practically jumped in front of him.

"We just wanted to inform you of a, um, a specimen that, uh, they brought back from the museum, Dr. Kraus," Manning blubbered, trying to remain dignified. "Very exciting find. I have a team of, well, people, to dissect it this afternoon, and I thought –"

"Dissection?" Johann said, gas emanating from his helmet in a mixture of amusement and frustration. "How very rudimentary. No, dissection will not be necessary. I should like to view the specimen immediately."

"We'll be meeting in the third laboratory from the right off of the main entrance," Manning managed before turning away, walking purposefully away, muttering about "important business" and "preparations." Abe and Liz exchanged a shrug.

"We'll see you in a few, Dr. Kraus," Liz smiled, all the while kicking Hellboy in the shin to make him follow her. "If you get lost just shout, these halls really carry sound," she added through gritted teeth.

"Got that right," Hellboy spat quietly, almost too quietly, and skulked away.

"_Merkwürdig_," he mused, shaking his head and returning to his books.

"You can say that again," Abe agreed, nodding sadly.

"_Sprechen Sie Deutsch_?" Johann asked excitedly.

"Uh, _nein_, at least not well," Abe admitted, laughing nervously. "Not yet. I'm learning."

"Good for you," Johann said. "It is a beautiful language. I should finish my packing before we meet on the specimen."

Abe nodded. "Of course. It is a pleasure having you on board, Dr. Kraus. See you in a few."

"_Danke schoen_," he said cordially and watched as Abe left, nearly running down the hall to listen to his German tapes. Alone at last, Johann emitted a sigh. "_Ich hoffe, dass dieses nicht ein Fehler war_."

"Watch where you're going, fish man!" Hellboy's voice shout reverberated down the corridors.

"_Oh Gott…" _

_**ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü**_

Translations: The song is Das Deutschlandlied, the German National Anthem, the full version (the official anthem is the third verse of the song. Oh, and I didn't write the full song, just bits and pieces). Lyrics can be found on Wikipedia.

_Willkommen _ welcome

_Meine Freunde_ my friends

_ Merkwürdig_ strange

_ Sprechen Sie Deutsch_ Do you speak German?

_ Danke schoen_ thank you very much

_ Ich hoffe, dass dieses nicht ein Fehler war_ I hope that this was not a mistake (I think, the combination of mine and my father's German is a little rusty!)

_Oh Gott_ Uh…duh.

_**ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü ßüßü**_

More will likely follow.


End file.
